Talking
points
Here you can see collected responses to the talking
points raised in Failsafe Newsletters
February 2008: a reader from
THE REPLIES
‘watched kids
become unteachable’
For too many
years, as a former high school teacher and Head of Department I have watched
kids become unteachable after morning tea even worse
after lunch. - teacher,
Qld.
These items should not be available to
children
A ‘lunch box
approved’ hamper has two items - pop tops and fruit sticks - that I know contain 211 and others
(211 sodium benzoate is the main one my son reacts to). They are approved by FOCiS (previously the Federation of Canteens in Schools).
These items are misleading and should not be available to children. - by email
How to avoid problem foods at canteens
(... don't eat them!)
To avoid the
problem foods we face at the school canteen I have made failsafe sausage rolls,
cake (a different recipe from what we have at home)and have supplied the
canteen with Paddle pop lemonade iceblocks (they
weren't able to purchase them because of the "healthy" canteen
rules). We have them all labelled in the freezer. My
children are able to participate in the important part of school culture of
lunch orders and not feel left out. - Trudi, by email
‘my group of 15 y/o boys with 'literacy/behavioural' problems
buying stuff’
My children's school canteen is appalling! I'll list
some of the things on offer to give you the picture: mineral Water (
There are a number of parents that are not happy but
the school principal and canteen manager are very resistant to change. I see
what some of the other children in my 5 y/o son's class bring for recess and
are amazed. The school is currently conducting a survey as they are reviewing
their canteen policy so we can only hope that things will improve.
The high school that I work at as a teacher is just as
bad. I do my lunch duty in there twice a week and just stand and shake my head
as I see my group of 15 y/o boys with 'literacy/behavioural' problems buying
stuff that I know is going to send them off by the time I have to teach them! I
have talked to them at length about the problems my son has had and some of
them have told me that they were put on similar diets as children. – teacher, NT
‘no one is looking at preservatives’
As a Food Service Rep for a company with a product
approved by the NSW Canteen Association (even though I can’t give it to my
daughter because of preservatives), I travel around and display our product at
Canteen Network Meetings. I am there with the likes of Baiada,
Steggles, Chikadee, Early
Rise Pies, Mrs Macs Pies and NOW Eagle Boys Pizzas!! which
have been approved for sale in NSW primary school canteens. I think it is
disgusting. The school orders the pies and they are delivered individually in a
hot cell bag … just like Friday Night take away. How on earth can this be
deemed as healthy, and how does it not encourage take away food. I am so
incensed at present with what I am seeing … it's ok for there to be low salt
and 99% fat free, but no one is looking at preservatives etc. I think they've
got it all wrong. I am about to start a Diploma in Nutrition, in the hope that
once I have a qualification I can begin spreading a more accurate picture on
what we should be feeding our children. – Food Service Rep, NSW
Feel sick in the
stomach when I see what they are selling
I too cringe when I go near our school canteen and
have expressed my concerns about the flavoured popcorn and chips they are
selling to our children. I don't get to help in the canteen as I have toddlers
and they are not allowed, but when I help at weekend events I sneak a peek at
what they are selling and just feel sick in the stomach. (I have stopped my
daughter having lunch orders since the beginning of this term and had her on
failsafe eating, with amazing results, we are so grateful for finding your web
site.)
Over the past 18 months, they have been getting rid of
foods like hot dogs, pies, sausage rolls, lollies etc. The thing I'm frustrated
about is they are still selling those awful packet noodles, flavoured potato
chips, flavoured popcorn (with 621, 635).
I'm also worried about letting my daughter have a lunch order as I'm
unsure if the bread they use has 282 in it.
I suppose I'm just not happy with the school canteen and would love to
see them change it, but how do I do this? – Mary, by email
November 2007: in Failsafe
Newsletter #53 we asked “Is there a
short simple way of explaining why you are doing the diet that people will
understand?” Here is the range of interesting answers:
THE QUESTION
My 3-year-old and I are currently doing the elimination diet for his
behaviour. I have noticed that people who have an allergy can say my child is
allergic so he is on the elimination diet and people accept it no questions; a
friend with an autistic child can say my child has autism so he is on the diet,
and again it is accepted no questions. But because we are doing the diet purely
for behaviour problems we get unlimited amounts of criticism over it. I am
constantly hearing it's just normal toddler behaviour.
I have tried explaining that on the basic diet I do have a normal toddler - we
still have normal toddler conflict and tantrums, however we don't have the extremes
of behaviour where he is out of control and literally runs up and down the
hallway screaming and aggressive with me ending up in tears. I don't expect a
perfect child, just a normal one ... Is there a short simple way of explaining
why you are doing the diet that people will understand?
THE REPLIES
* Why should you have to explain. People should
respect your wishes with regard to what you do or do not want your child to
eat. Although when I tell people what my 7 year old can have, I then explain
about the tantrums and defiance he showed when he was younger and how I am not
stressed any more, most people accept that.
The ones that don't, I don't leave my child with. - Dawn
* I’ve had the same experience trying to explain why my son has a
restricted diet. Only 2 weeks after starting the elimination diet, a friend who
is a paediatrician commented on the radical change in my son’s behaviour, but
when I told her about the diet she dismissed it completely. This is a pretty
typical response from people who have no idea what it’s like to have a 3yo
bulldozer that runs over the top of everything and bounces off the walls.
If anyone asks I now just tell them “his body doesn’t tolerate
artificial additives”. If they express
any interest in finding out exactly what that means, I’m happy to elaborate,
but mostly they don’t. I’m sure most of my friends think I’m a nutcase, but the
proof is there for all to see and in the end it doesn’t matter what anyone else
thinks, because I know that the result is that my life is easier and I have a
happier child. - Jacqui
* Many people didn’t believe that my children were sensitive to many
foods and chemicals. So I no longer explain to many
people, and I don’t care what they think. My daughter recently became really
difficult, and then I discovered that the ingredients to her bread had
changed. Within two days of swapping her
bread, a lot of family commented on her improved behaviour, and I told them it
was because of the change in her diet. Those people no longer comment on why I
keep her on a weird diet, and now actually support me. I only took 6 years!!
There is no easy way to explain to people who don’t understand so don’t try. It
is well worth persevering with diet, especially as it becomes more public and
newsworthy. – Kate
* Regarding the issue of trying to explain to people about the diet and
your kids behaviour, it seems all I ever do. I have 2
children, now 6 ½ and 9 ½. Through trial and error we have discovered they are
intolerant to some foods and it does affects their behavior,
our main culprit was to our shock and horror, dairy. Our son in particular, from the moment he
woke up until he nodded off at night was wound up, he never walked anywhere, it
was always running at full speed and too busy to hear or be told anything,
extremely noisy, and the list goes on.
It was extremely frustrating and depressing. He never got invited over for playdates, birthdays.
Now I just tell people now that our kids have intolerances, not an
allergy and we need to be very cautious about what he eats. Most people are ok with this, but there are
the minority who think behavior problems are just
poor parenting, it’s not. There are
always the do-gooders who think they know best, you know your child and if it
works for him and your family life don’t worry about what others think or
say. It would be great if we all had
perfect children, but the truth is that we don’t.
We were pressured to put our child on medication at 5yo, and it had a
negative effect on him, we then began to rethink our options and decided to go
totally failsafe, within days we had what could be considered a normal
child. He is still a busy boy but far
more compliant and less aggressive. We
too still have some issues to deal with but at least we can see a noticeable
difference.
You don’t need to explain yourself to anyone,
your child’s improved behavior is all the
justification you need. – Marie
* I usually tell people my son only eats limited foods because otherwise
he suffers. That way, people know it’s not just one food to be avoided, but
many, and it’s a quick way of explaining. I find many people don’t want great
detail, anyway.
As an aside, while most people accept that my son’s diet is restricted,
they don’t understand that I also am on a restricted diet. So the message that
additives affect kids is getting through, but people are not realising that
additives affect adults, too. (and that is not to
mention salicylates…) Melinda, Tas
* Thanks so much for all your work to bring the issue of food
intolerance to the general public. We
have been living in ignorance and some of us in a kind of hell wondering why we
are all so grumpy and not very nice! I
noticed the DVD Fed up with Children's behaviour at the library and having
bought the Failsafe Cookbook we have tried to change our diet over the last few
months. I must say that we have not
managed to take on the full failsafe diet but have cut out additives almost
completely. It is very difficult
socially to say to people "we don't eat that" especially when it is
already in the hands of the children so we have had times when they have eaten
things and then later had behavioural effects.
However, it seems to have made a big difference overall in our behaviour
especially for my three year old son, my eight year old daughter and
myself. I have cut down on salicylates
and feel better. When people ask about
it I say that when I saw the cookbook and the cover said "for calm, happy
families" I realise that was all I wanted for my family and that it has
helped us to calm down a lot.
I would recommend, when confronting objections from family and friends,
to say that you want a calm, happy family and ask the objector if they would be
able to help you with that by humouring you and going along with your
wishes. If you often find yourself
surrounded by critical and unsupportive people it may be wise to keep away from these
situations for a while. I'm sure most
real friends and loving family members are able to respect decisions that their
loved ones make regarding this issue. –
Use big but informative words to keep them quiet! E.g., as a responsible
parent, you are ensuring that your child sticks to the elimination diet as he
is neurologically compromised by additives,
preservatives etc and for his optimal learning function.
All of which is true. Behaviour comes from brain function. My 5yr old
daughter calls it her 'cranky brain' when we get it wrong and her behaviour suffers....and
likewise she will have a bad day at school the following day or so until she
recovers from the 'hit' - her teacher can tell, now when she's having an 'off
day' . If people are helpfully interested, then obviously you can explain
further...the more that know, the better! - Traci
